So we have joined Mizizi course...I remember thinking during the class that finally I could have a way of drawing closer to God.."to be where He was at" as it were.
Simplistic I know...but if God decided to hide Himself from man then we would be truly lost..for no man would or could find Him. So the prayer from my child's-heart is that I may find Him, and be found in Him, "not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith".
Ok first topic: Who God is not
My perception has varied widely through the years. I vaguely remember trusting him simply, completely, a long time ago...but then came the need to define Him, and that's where it all came unglued. From the harsh taskmaster to the indifferent parent to the uncool big brother...all some variation of a victim mentality, of subjection to Him who I had to contend with, and perhaps felt that i was failing in every aspect.
A certain helplessness at not being able to match up to the standards proposed (read yelled) by the preacher at the pulpit, anger and frustration at not understanding why I just couldn't get it down, as if it was an musical instrument, or particularly difficult piece of code. Didn't help at all that everyone in church seemed to be breezing right through it, saints all ready for heaven.
The need for mentors readily comes to mind. How much more easier would it have been if only I had known that it was a JOURNEY...not a destination!! That it was the smallest mustard seed that grew into the biggest bush!
In many ways the ups and downs of my relationship with my earthly dad directly affected my perception of my heavenly father. The maturing of the same has led me to realise that they were always meant to be similar in many ways, and you know what...that has made all the difference.
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